whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
