this beer tastes like vomit already
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize