I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
