So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hippo gnu deer
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
