if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
