You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
