let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
