I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
