i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
