if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
