I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
