i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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