Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
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And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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