it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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