...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
