I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
please come you make the beer taste better
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
