Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
sex in a hospital.. check
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize