i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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