We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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