I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
