I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
