my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So much rum. So many feels.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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