I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
