What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you didnt know i had herpes?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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