So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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