She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
