please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize