I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize