I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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