She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
