You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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