I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So here I am, sexting at work.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
