Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
bring money and cleavage
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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