Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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