What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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