we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm too high and old for this...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
