I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
