Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
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Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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