The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
