why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..