I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it penis luge time yet?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!