So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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