before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
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He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
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Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.