What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...