I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
