I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
