so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
