More tranny stories later!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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