i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
