I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
