He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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