Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize