She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
