So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize