I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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