i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
