Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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