I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
