I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
