So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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